Always
by Nikki Von Dratch
Summary: Jennifer/Needy. FEMSLASH.


Always

Needy awakens to the feeling of soft fingertips gently kneading her scalp. Slowly, she opens her eyes, squinting against the bright sunlight cascading in through the cracks in the window blinds. She's on her side, facing the wall that her desk is pushed against; there's a soft body pressed into her own from behind, an arm draped lazily over her hip, fingers of one hand ghosting across the exposed skin of her tummy while the fingers of the other hand continue to play in her hair. Needy lets out a contented sigh as she closes her eyes again. She's not worried about the other person in her bed; she knows exactly who it is, remembers well falling asleep in Jennifer's arms the night before.

She had been exhausted and cranky with a temper that was bordering on volatile and all these other things that she wasn't used to being. She was all these things for reasons unbeknownst to even her. At school, Jennifer had sensed there was something wrong right off. She kept her distance all day and waited for Needy to turn out her bedroom lights before climbing up the lattice work and sneaking in through the window she knew would be unlocked. She shimmied out of her pants and climbed under the blankets, snuggling up behind Needy before the blonde could have a chance to protest. She wrapped her arms tightly around Needy and held her close, kissed her shoulder and twined her fingers with Needy's. No words had been spoken between the two of them, there was no need. Needy simply melted into Jennifer, welcoming the warmth of her best friend. She fell asleep quickly and slept peacefully in the comfort of Jennifer's arms like she had so many nights before.

Jennifer's fingers travel up Needy's arm, eliciting a trail of little goosebumps in the wake of her cool fingertips. She presses her lips gently to Needy's shoulder, once, twice, three times, until Needy loses count. Then Jennifer's lips move, trailing feather light kisses all along the base of her neck and shoulders. Her hand moves back down Needy's arm, fingers playing at the hem of Needy's tank top before slipping swiftly underneath and caressing the warm, soft skin. Needy doesn't tense. She doesn't pull away or flinch; this isn't strange for her. It isn't the first time Jennifer's touched her like this. In fact, Jennifer's explored her body so many times, Needy's stopped trying to keep track. She simply knows that Jennifer has touched her in more intimate ways than Chip has, and she's touched Jennifer much the same, and that's all that matters. They've never actually been together like _that_, there was never a reason for them to go any further than simply getting to know each other's bodies. But as Jennifer's fingers move higher, stroke the skin just beneath Needy's breasts, and her lips continue to move against Needy's shoulder, the blonde starts to get the feeling that this time there just may be a reason.

Needy opens her eyes again and tries to turn over. She wants to see Jennifer, wants to ask her what's happening, but Jennifer seems quite content with her to stay the way she is. Needy moves her own hand under her shirt and lays it over Jennifer's, stilling it just as it comes to rest over her left breast.

"Jen," Needy says, her voice still strained and hoarse from sleep. "Jen, let me look at you. Please? I want to see you."

Jennifer seems hesitant at first, but leans back a little, loosening her hold on Needy just enough for the blonde to turn in her arms. Needy stares up at her best friend, half-lidded blue eyes searching Jennifer's face for something, anything that might tell her just where the brunette is planning on taking this. Her answer is written into the soft smile that Jennifer gives her; it makes Needy's heart pound with giddy anticipation. She reaches up, cupping Jennifer's cheek, brushing her thumb across those full lips that she's kissed probably a thousand times, before slowly pulling Jennifer forward until their lips touch. _1,001. _Needy's brain registers the number, but the sensation is something new entirely. It's like the first time she got brave enough to play chicken with oncoming traffic in her mom's car—it's dangerous and awesome and her palms are sweating and her heart is beating much too fast and she feels a little bit like she needs to throw up, but it's totally worth the rush. Likewise, it's completely worth it just to feel Jennifer's lips moving against her own, to feel her best friend's tongue running along her bottom lip while seeking entrance into her mouth.

When the hand that Jennifer has under Needy's tank top squeezes Needy's breast gently, Needy breaks the kiss and gasps. Her back arches off the mattress slightly, urging Jennifer on. Jennifer caresses Needy's breast again, moving her palm back and forth until she feels Needy's nipple harden. Needy closes her eyes and tries to breathe normally when Jennifer moves to her other breast, repeating the motions, squeezing, rubbing, caressing. The brunette kisses her neck, sucks gently at her hammering pulse point. Just when the sensations are becoming too much for Needy to handle, Jennifer's hand disappears, and Needy immediately misses the contact. But then Jennifer's tugging at the bottom of Needy's tank top, urging it up over the blonde's stomach. Needy sits up a little and allows Jennifer to lift the thin white cotton tank over her head. There's the soft rustle of fabric hitting the floor, and then Jennifer's touching her again. Teeth and lips and tongue are exploring, tasting Needy's skin, while Jennifer's hands stroke down the blonde's sides.

Jennifer lets her fingernails scrape lightly over Needy's ribs and the blonde moans. Low and guttural and sexy, the sound startles both girls. Jennifer leans back a little to stare down at her best friend, piercing blue eyes wide with surprise. Needy's blush colors her cheeks and travels quickly, staining her neck and chest crimson as well.

"Sorry," Needy says softly, trying to keep the quaver out of her voice.

Jennifer just smiles sweetly as she leans down to kiss Needy again. "Don't be. I think it's sexy," she says.

Needy's pretty sure no one's ever used the word _sexy_ to describe anything she's ever done, but coming from Jennifer, it's the ultimate compliment, especially since it's said with the utmost sincerity. She's willing to not over-think it at this moment and just go with it if it makes Jennifer happy. She's always been willing to do anything to make Jennifer happy.

"Needs," Jennifer says, her voice a breathy whisper as she moves forward again, lips connecting with the soft, pale skin of Needy's upper chest.

"Yeah, Jen?" Needy replies.

"I want you. I want to make you feel good."

Needy can't seem to form any coherent sentences, so she just nods and says, "Okay."

"Don't be scared. I'll take care of you," Jennifer says as she trails light kisses along the length of Needy's collarbone. "I'll always take care of you."

Needy closes her eyes and whimpers as Jennifer's mouth closes around a nipple, hot tongue swirling around the oversensitive tip. Needy pushes her head back into the pillow and arches into Jennifer's mouth. Her fingers tangle deep in long, dark hair as Jennifer kisses a white-hot trail down the valley between her breasts. The brunette slips her hand beneath the waistband of Needy's pajama bottoms and she gasps at the heat she finds emanating from Needy's center. Her fingers dance over Needy, nails clacking over the colorful little buttons on Needy's underwear, and she blonde groans.

"Jen." The name leaves Needy's lips as more of a whine than anything else. Her breathing is becoming shallower by the second as Jennifer cups her through the thin fabric of her panties while still kissing her chest. "Jen, please."

"Are you ready?" Jennifer asks, tracing the outline of Needy's underwear with the tip of her index finger. Needy just nods urgently. "Okay. I've got you. Hold onto me, okay?"

Needy raises a questioning eyebrow at the last sentence, but when Jennifer slips two fingers into the warmth and wetness at the apex of her thighs, her hands shoot up and she digs her nails hard into Jennifer's back. The pleasure is beyond intense as Jennifer works up a steady rhythm, slowly moving in and out of Needy, curling her fingers a little more with every thrust. Needy's breath comes in short bursts and she moans, hips thrusting upward to meet long, tapered fingers. Jennifer sucks at Needy's pulse point for a moment, feeling it beating out a rampant rhythm beneath the skin, before moving her kisses to Needy's breasts again.

"Jen," Needy gasps. She's panting now, hips moving more frantically in an anticipatory cadence.

"Shh. Slow down, baby. I've got you," Jennifer tells her. She brushes her thumb over Needy's clit, not putting any pressure just yet.

"Jen, I need—"

"Not yet, baby."

Needy groans in frustration. Jennifer just smiles at her. Her hand continues to work between Needy's legs, coaxing her closer and closer to the edge of sweet oblivion. Needy can feel the pressure building at the base of her spine. It's painful and wonderful and torturous and delightful all at the same time. She bites down on her lower lip as she moans Jennifer's name. She's never felt anything this good before. She doesn't want it to end, but she's not sure how much more she can take before her body goes into sensory overload and completely shuts down.

"Needy," Jennifer says a moment later. She's a little breathless herself from the quickened pace she's keeping with her hand and her voice is a little rough and strained. "Needs." She whispers the affectionate nickname while gently nuzzling Needy's cheek.

"Jen… oh, God… _fuck_."

"Look at me. Open your eyes, Needs. I want you to look at me."

It's a more difficult task than Needy thinks, but she manages to force her eyes open. She catches and holds Jennifer's gaze for a long moment, marveling at the love and warmth swirling in those captivating blue orbs.

"Needy," Jennifer says again, her breath tickling Needy's ear. "I want you to come for me. Can you do that for me?"

Needy shuts her eyes tight again as she feels the familiar sting of tears. "I—yes," she says softly with a little nod. The truth is, she wants nothing more than what Jennifer's asking of her.

Jennifer kisses her then, all passion and fever as she crooks her fingers upward inside Needy. With a light press of her thumb to that hypersensitive little bundle of nerves, she brings Needy off, sends her swiftly into that all-consuming blissfulness. The blonde flexes her fingers against the muscles of Jennifer's shoulders as she lets out a muffled cry that Jennifer greedily swallows up with another fervent kiss. Body trembling, skin prickling with electricity, Needy clings to her best friend for dear life. Jennifer strokes her down gently, brings her ever so slowly back to the present. She kisses Needy again and again and again, until Needy feels like she needs Jennifer's breath more than her own to survive. Their bodies are melded together, the thin sheen of sweat that covers Needy seeping into Jennifer's clothes, saturating her with its salty sweetness. It's all very strange and wonderful and Needy thinks there's something about this newly shared intimacy with Jennifer that feels oddly like home. Warm and safe, comfortable and content.

Jennifer's voice brings Needy out of her post-orgasmic daze. "Hey there, sweet girl," the brunette says softly, her smile evident in her voice.

Needy's eyes flutter open and she gazes up at Jennifer, a smile breaking out, tugging the corners of her full lips upward until she thinks it might actually split her face in two. "Hi," she replies.

There's more sunlight streaming in through the windows now, birds chirping outside, vehicles passing on the streets, although both girls seem completely oblivious. Jennifer rests her forehead against Needy's, closes her eyes and inhales deeply. She runs her hand up Needy's abdomen, traces a circle around her belly button before continuing up until she reaches Needy's chest. She lays her hand comfortably over Needy's heart and feels it beating there, still a little erratic.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Jennifer whispers.

The effect those words have on Needy is profound. She feels the tears as they well up in her eyes again, and she fights them back, not wanting to ruin this moment. "We can, Jen. We can," she says. "We can be together like this. Always. You're my best friend."

Jennifer sniffs. When she speaks, her voice is barely above a whisper. "I love you, Needy. Always."

"Always," Needy repeats.

"But I can't stay here."

"What?"

"It's time for you to wake up."

"Jen?" Needy opens her eyes. Jennifer gives her a sad smile. "Jennifer, what's wrong?"

"I have to go now," the brunette says.

"No, you don't. You can stay here. Stay with me. Be with me," Needy pleads. She's growing scared and more confused by the second.

Jennifer's smile fades completely. There are tears in her eyes as she leans forward to whisper into Needy's ear. "I love you, but it's time to wake up now," she says. "Wake up, Needy."

Needy awakens with a start. Her eyes shoot open and she sits bolt upright in her bed, clutching a hand over her heart as she struggles to catch her breath. She glances to the empty spot next to her in the bed. Jennifer's spot. She reaches out a trembling hand and touches the sheets—they're icy cold. _It was all a dream_. Needy lets out a choked sob at the realization. _It was all a dream_. Her mind repeats the words over and over again, but she can't accept them. It's been months since Jennifer's been in her bed, and she still can't accept the fact that her best friend is gone. Not when her dreams make it all seem so real.

Her skin still tingles where Jennifer touched her in her dream. It always does. She can still feel the dull throbbing between her legs, remembers the feeling of Jennifer filling her completely and bringing her to that special place. None of it is real, of course, but Needy can still feel Jennifer there with her. She lies back down and clutches her pillow tightly to her chest, waits patiently for the tears to come, and when they finally do, the wracking sobs nearly break her. Her heart feels like it's being ripped apart all over again.

There will come a time when she no longer has these dreams of Jennifer. She prays that time will come, anyway, because if it doesn't, she's not sure how much longer she'll be able to take the pain before she has to take matters into her own hands. Something to forget. Anything to forget. Anything to make the numbness in her soul go away.

When the tears finally stop and Needy at last catches her breath, she rolls onto her side, still clutching her pillow, and closes her eyes again. Sleep doesn't come quick enough, but as she's finally drifting off into the darkness, there's a soft touch on her shoulder. The warmth of phantom lips on her cheek. And Jennifer whispers to her. "_Always._" Needy says the word right back in her mind, and Jennifer doesn't return to her in her dreams again that night.


End file.
